There was something that always annoyed me about living at home with my family. It’s something that also annoys me when I hang out with a group of friends that work at the same place or in the same industry.
I’m SURE you’ve experienced the same before. More than likely, even, you’ve participated in it too…
What’s Your Post Work or School Ritual?
Evenings at my house, like most homes I guess, was pretty much the same routine everyday (keeping life efficient, yo). Whether it came as soon as they walked in, or 15 minutes later when we were all scattered around the family room eating dinner, inevitably the question would be asked: “So how was your day?”
Probably a question every person gets every day from somebody in their life, right?
Ask ME how my day was, though, and you’ll likely only ever get one of a few one-word answers:
“Sweet.”
“Swell.”
“Fine.”
“Meh.”
That’s it. That’s ONLY ever it.
Not so, though, for the rest at my house. They’re all awesome, of course. I heart em all and would totally defend them against intergalactic ninjas if need be (they exist). But they just couldn’t get by with a “fine” and move on.
And so everyday I’d have to hear all the gossip of the office they couldn’t get out of their system earlier:
The boss they hate. Or some co-worker who’s in their business. Or some new person who’s screwing up. Or whatever junk they spent all day stewing about but just couldn’t get off their chest until they were amongst people that wouldn’t endanger their jobs.
Every evening, then, became another episode in the ongoing saga of their life at work – like a daily soap opera or something. And the people of their job became like characters in a story – ones we heard of everyday and grew to hate based on the horror stories they told us.
Because if there was one thing that was common in every day’s retelling, it was that everyone in the place sucked, or underappreciated them, or disrespected them in some small way. Typical disgruntled employee talk.
And so I’d hear again and again:
“And then BLANK said….and I told him…”
“And if they do that just one more time…I’m just gonna tell em…!”
And on and on and on…
The Fine Line
And I know they just wanted to share their day. And I know you’re supposed to care about the lives of those you care about.
Yeah yeah yeah, I know it.
I understand it, then. But mostly I don’t.
I guess there’s just some fine line I just can’t seem to see.
Cause to me work has no business in my personal life. It has no home in my home.
Even when I was younger and teen depressed and anxious to hate on everything, this was one of the probably FEW things I think I did well in life: that I never dwelt on work; that I never took the stuff that bothered me at high school or at whatever crappy retail job I had at the time and kept thinking about it, or kept talking about it when I wasn’t even there.
I never brought the Devil home with me.
Because like most people I didn’t like work or high school. It wasn’t so much the actual work itself really (and bringing that home is inevitable eventually), but more the people I had to deal with and the dynamics I had to endure – like all people endure at work – that some people gossip; that some are about as interesting as the white-painted walls, that you have to watch how you behave amongst some or say around others; that you’re pressured constantly to buy into company mottos and practices that you just don’t give a shit about.
I didn’t like work, then, because it was 8 hours spent amongst people I wouldn’t spend a minute with if I was not PAID to do so, doing stuff I would not do unless I lived in a society where money was a necessity.
I did NOT consider these people worthy of my personal time. And I barely considered the job worthy of my professional time. Why in the world, then, would I spend my time AFTER work talking about it, complaining about it, worrying about it?
Maybe I’m odd, but…
When I leave school, I leave school there.
When I leave work, I leave fucking work.
And I’m HAPPIER cause I do so.
I DON’T bring it home. I don’t talk about it. I don’t THINK about it AT ALL.
I have better things to do than gossip or complain about people at work or school. Because the few and (very) short hours after work or school are all I have to myself before I have to go back. And when you do as most do, and come home talking about it, gossiping about it, angry about it, you turn an 8 hour job into a 24 hour job; an hour long class into a day-long class.
So try it some time. Leave your work at work. Leave your school at school. What you can of it anyway.
Don’t come home complaining about this person or that person. Don’t waste your time angry about what they’ve said or done that you think is so annoying or insulting.
Don’t waste ANY of your energy on stuff that you’re done with for the day, and don’t yet need to deal with till tomorrow.
Just don’t.
Your stress at work and school should be stress left AT work or school.
Leave the Devil in Hell. He can manage without you for awhile.
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What do you think? Do you have a problem bringing the troubles of school and work home? What do you do to keep work at work or school at school? Comment below and win 5 life cool points…
It’s hard for me to keep school at school because you could be studying 24/7. There is always a moment you COULD be doing something for school and that just stressed me out (still does) to no end. I didn’t know how to compartmentalize my life and I still haven’t figured it out. I gave up on trying. If I have a problem at home, it affects my school/work. If I have a problem at school, it affects my home life. Everything in my life comes together and relies on each other. So its easy for me to get stressed out.
Oh yeah, Udo, it’s damn hard, that’s for sure. College is so much different though, cause you never do quite leave it, but neither do you ever feel like you GO to it either (like high school, which is more the “school” I was talking about, where going feels like heading to prison time for most, and very different than your personal time, haha). So probably you don’t need all that much work on it at all, I’d guess. Cause stressing about homework, and exams, and stuff is dang inevitable, as is working on it outside of class, of course. I just always hated bringing the OTHER stuff home and worrying about it – the gossip, what someone said or did to me, etc (the social aspect of it, the politicking, that doesn’t help your fun or relaxation at home, or your studying or work at home either).
Thanks for stopping by, Udo! Appreciate it…
“When I leave work, I leave fucking work.” I’ve been forced to listen to certain people’s (hi mom) work-bitching for more years than I can stand. A ways back I made it clear that I no longer had the tolerance to listen. Rattle off a quick complaint, then let it go: fine. But don’t continually inflict your re-hashing on innocent victims.
Not saying I’m perfect. “Why in the world, then, would I spend my time AFTER work talking about it, complaining about it, worrying about it?” I now ask myself this question before I decide if it’s actually going to HELP me to get something off my chest.
On a side note…I don’t think men do this as much to begin with.
downfromtheledge recently posted…Top 10 Reasons Why Facebook Is The Devil
Haha yeah I’d totally agree that girls probs do it more. But you’d be surprised. I have some friends who all have similar accounting jobs but for different firms, and when we hang out they, for at least some amount of time, talk about…freaking accounting. Horrible.