Too long, guys! Been working hard on some epic articles but had to throw something short up in the mean time. It’s about an experience I had a couple weekends ago.
I saw a ghost. No foolin. A real, swear to the dude in the sky, ghost…
Not Casper, or some rich widow from the 19th century who sticks around the house cause she wanted to see just how bad life was (comparatively) in her own time (as I figure they do).
No, I mean that person you NEVER thought you’d see again. The one whose very presence stops you in your tracks, stops the beating of your heart and the draw of your breath, and all life pauses for that single moment…
You’re speechless. You’re frozen. You can’t think. You can’t muster a fucking word to say.
It’s a ghost.
But it’s real.
And in an instant you’re transported not just back in TIME, but back in LIFE, to when you were someone wholly different, someone you never wanted to feel like again, like this person you thought you’d never see again.
And in that moment, the reality of just how much everything has changed stares you in the face. How much you’ve changed. And the work, and pain, and tears you’ve put into yourself feels like nothing, worthless, useless. Because for that brief moment, you ARE that person again, and it sickens you, and all you had done to change, to be different, to be better seems for naught.
Except it’s not.
And the feeling is gone as soon as it came. And you realize you ARE fine, that you ARE better, that there’s nothing to fear.
And in that instant the ghost loses its power over you, and you regain the power in yourself.
For the longest time I feared it, that this encounter – that seeing this ghost – would put me in relapse; that it would reveal to me that nothing’s changed in me at all.
But that feeling of the old me was gone as quickly as it came.
I had an amazing night despite the encounter. I was my old self again. And by “old” self I mean my NEW and better self. Like nothing happened. Like I had never saw her at all.
And THAT’s how much you’ve changed – that the wave is but a ripple over the ocean – immovable, eternal – where before the wave was a tsunami over the straw and wood home of your soul.
These ghosts live in the lives of us all. The past doesn’t always stay in the past.
Some part of me feels like we are destined to be revisited by them, as a reminder of where we’ve come, where we are, and where we have yet to go.
I’m glad I saw it.
What are YOUR thoughts?
Could you relate to this somewhat more cryptic and poetic post? Leave a comment and lemme know!!!