This Blog is (Mental) Masturbation

Luckily for me, I get messages much more consistently now.  A lot are compliments (love you guys!).  Some, though, are from people struggling and looking for advice or tips on what they should do to get better in life or fix whatever problems they have.

Don’t they know, though?  This blog is just my own masturbation (That’s right, we use potty words round here).  Lemme explain…

I’m not too different from you or anyone else (maybe slightly taller and more statuesque).  I wish, like everyone else, that life came with some sweet guidebook – with color drawings, and maps, and diagrams, and some kind of perfect future-telling device or decision-making machine; with some Get Out of Jail Free cards (I could find some uses for those), and some mulligans too (I’d definitely need those).  And, of course, a few extra lives in case this one ends too soon, or I eff it up too much.

I don’t know if you guys have noticed this, though, but life DOESN’T come with that stuff.  Not any of it, I’m pretty sure.  All I came out with, in fact, was an umbilical cord and a temper.  And I have no further use for either.

Without such a sweet life-kit, then, we’re all pretty much left to crawl in the dark trying to find our way.  It gets messy, though.  And we fall a lot.  And hurt a lot.  And struggle a lot.

There’s no Blueprint for Life, Then

No step-by-step process to go from struggling to succeeding; from a loser to a beast; from depressed to so giggly with laughter and smiles that you make people around you wanna puke, haha.

There just isn’t.

There isn’t some repeatable and proven science to living like there is to baking a cake, or building an Ikea table, or whatever else that takes something difficult and makes it an achievable thing for even the most incapable amongst us.

That’s not what people want to hear, of course.  And it’s not good for business around here at The Last Broken Home I assure you, haha.

I mean, I could list some things for sure:

1. Stop caring what others think.
2. Do shit that scares the hell out of you – learn from it.  Grow.
3. Take responsibility for your life and do whatever you need to live the life you want to live – regardless of the sacrifice that entails or the time it requires, the obstacles you’ll face or the struggles you’ll endure.

There.  There it is.  Life made easy in 3 easy steps, like so many blog titles around the internet (which I can’t stand btw).

Except these tips are not easy.  They’re not simple, though I packed them into 3 convenient bullet points.

They’re actually VERY hard.  I promise you.  They’re stuff people can struggle a lifetime with and never achieve or even fathom.  They’re stuff the vast majority of people on this rock NEVER learn, in fact.

And they’re not very specific at all.  Because the specific rules to living don’t exist.

Because the Reality Is…

I can’t help you.  I can’t solve a single problem for you, or overcome a single obstacle for you.  Believe me, I would if I could.  And if I could charge for it, I’d do that too

But this blog is just my own mental masturbation – no matter what my grand designs or hopes for it may be.

It’s just my thoughts on life and family and the world, and the things I’ve done and the lessons I’ve learned in my own continuing journey.

I won’t be posting “7 Step” articles, then.  I won’t tell you how to solve your family problems and make mom  or dad love you.  I won’t tell you how to stop crying at night, or how to be happy all day.

I believe wholeheartedly that you can achieve a life much more valuable than ANY of those individual things with the HELP of The Last Broken Home, and it’s my hope that you do.  But not BECAUSE of it.

Your life will change when You change it.  And your problems will be solved when You solve them. (CLICK TO TWEET THIS)

Because I don’t know how to solve your life.  Because, in reality, I don’t know how to solve life AT ALL.

I think this site, then, is at its most powerful when it helps you help yourself, rather than when preaching how you MUST or SHOULD do it.

The Last Broken Home is about personal accountability, I believe; about taking responsibility for your life and ridding yourself of all the constraints that have prevented you from being your best self – the family that’s held you back, and the cultures that have misshaped you, and the religions that have bound you, and the friends and strangers that have every day caused in you a desire to be someone or something else.

I don’t want this site to be uplifting – I want it to be real.  I don’t want it to be positive for the sake of being positive – I want it to be truth.  I don’t want it to be something you read to get a smile for the day, but something you read to inspire change for the rest of your days.  Not as reassurance that ALL is well and ALL will be fine, but as reminder that NOTHING will be so unless you do something to MAKE it so.

You.  Not me.

Because these articles are nothing without action – without trying, without applying them diligently to your thoughts and beliefs and efforts.

On their own they do no good.  On their own they can do no good.

Like me.

You are your own savior.  You’re the hero of your story.  You’re the catalyst you’ve spent a lifetime searching for and perhaps all morning browsing online for.

I’m just a dude.  I just mentally masturbate on the internet.

But If You Enjoy My Mental Masturbations…

…and find them useful to the action you take in your life, join me in the yellow box below.  I’ll keep you in the loop next time I metaphorically jerk it online.

Incidentally, this is now my favorite post of all time based on metaphoring alone.  Comment on this weird, weird, post now and lemme know what you think…