Family

Quotes concerning family, homes, and the effect our biological and adopted relationships have on our selves and minds.

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“When I say we are all the product of broken homes, it is not an indictment on parenting specifically, but of all that shapes and surrounds us in our youth; of family and friends, neighborhoods and nations, religions and cultures.  It’s the acknowledgment that most who walk this earth are less than they are capable of, and must have become so somehow.”

- Explaining Teen Depression: The Effect of Broken Homes, pt. I

“You may have had loving parents.  You may even have had a wonderful childhood.  But regardless of the size, quality, or love of our families and those close to us, we assuredly learned behaviors, thought processes, and belief systems in our youth which proved insufficient later in life, when problems mounted, when dreams died, when the rosy view of the world taught in school proved a thing of fantasy.”

Explaining Teen Depression: The Effect of Broken Homes, pt. I

“For better or worse, this parent was not there, and in their stead you became what you became.  You became You, not in spite of their absence, nor because of their absence, but always and forever because of You.  You made yourself.  You make yourself.”

- Why Finding Your Birth Parents Won’t Help You Find Yourself

“The reality is that their parent or parents are not capable of providing such a home in the condition they are in, with the addictions they feed, and the anger they hold, with the abilities they have and the thoughts they think.  They are broken people from broken homes who now use their broken minds to make your broken home.  They are not that person you want.  They are not your ideal Mom or Dad, and cannot be so.”

- Your Parents Suck (Maybe) and Here’s Why (Definitely)

“That a boy managed to talk or push his way into the pants of the girl who would become your mother, does not make him capable of being a father.  That that girl was able to squeeze you out of her womb and survive, does not make her capable of being a mother.  That a sperm finds an egg does not change who we are.”

Your Parents Suck (Maybe) and Here’s Why (Definitely)

“The people you call your parents – the ones you look up to and expect the world of, the ones you blame your problems on, and openly or secretly hate – are just two people who drunkenly, accidentally, or stupidly conceived a child when it was, in fact, the last thing they should have ever done.  Because they were not ready.  Because they would never be ready.”

Your Parents Suck (Maybe) and Here’s Why (Definitely)

“The unfortunate reality, is that these people are no more obligated to provide for you than the law requires.  It is not their duty to make you into the man or woman you want and need to become.  It was not then, and is not now.  That responsibility is yours and yours alone, and, because of that, their mistakes are not your handicap, their shortcomings not your excuses.”

Your Parents Suck (Maybe) and Here’s Why (Definitely)

“Look what your expectations have given you.  You took these people who birthed you, and made into them figures to look up to.  They did not ask this, and likely do not deserve it.  And when they could not provide the life you expected, you transformed that disappointment and letdown into the anger and resentment you now feel.  The world will feel it too, if you do not realize your mistake.  Your future spouse will feel it.  Your future children will feel it.  And then YOU perpetuate the cycle.  YOU become the problem.  YOU become what you hated the most.”

Your Parents Suck (Maybe) and Here’s Why (Definitely)

“If parents’ actions are as capable of harm as they are of good, then the way in which they parent isn’t just important, it’s everything.  Cause it’s their parenting that might one day prove – to the child who endured it – either inspirational or scarring, life-nurturing or life-destroying, the seed of something great that grew, or the end of a life never lived; something they’ll look back on and smile, or something they can’t bear to look back on at all.”

- How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“For most parents, this period – the teenage period – is the most difficult period; the one to which they’ll devote the most attention, yet receive the most resistance; the one towards which they’ll sacrifice the most of themselves, yet receive the least praise; where the answers are never easy, and the solutions never clear; where the kids they have tried so hard to make into something they could know and understand will cement the behaviors, and beliefs, and thought-processes by which they will live for years or forever to come.  And they’ll do so resisting them all the while.”

How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“One of the largest factors in the discontent and teenage depression of adolescence, is the difference between the teen’s recognition of their own maturity and desired independence, and the complete inability or reluctance of those that care for them to see or allow the same.”

How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“The job of a parent is not to protect their son or daughter until they are of legal age to do so themselves.  It’s not to shelter them in the home from all the situations and choices in life that would seem difficult to resist, or problematic to confront.  It’s not their job to make those choices for them at all.  The job of a parent is to raise independent, confident, strong men and women – adults who can survive in their own company, with their own wits and good sense; people who choose right from wrong because they know right from wrong and not because they have been, all their lives, robbed of the experience of the choice.”

How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“When the sole goal of a parent  is to protect their child rather than educate them, to shield them rather than strengthen them, to withhold from them all experience, and failures, and heartbreaks until whatever arbitrary age they believe to be old enough, or ready enough, they will find that when they come of that age, they are ill prepared to care for anything at all.  They’re ill prepared to care for themselves.”

How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“One cannot shelter teens and expect them to mature.  They cannot treat them as children and expect them to act as adults.  They cannot hide them at home till the storm and rocky waters of adolescence have passed, and yet expect them to weather the storms themselves when at last they venture from shore.”

How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“And when their parents are gone (as they must be eventually) – when the anchor that once secured them is pulled, and the tether their parents think protects them is broken – when that day comes – the kid who was raised on respect rather than fear will have the experience of a sailor who has spent days far from shore and the wisdom of one who’s navigated the seas themselves; rather than the horrible realization – now alone and on their own – of the crippling handicap of a life spent on the safety and comfort of the beach.”

How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“The job of a parent is to raise an equal.”

How to Be a Good Parent…When Parenting is as Easy as 1…2…X+Y(Pi)-Wtf?

“That’s the difficulty of growing up, or raising another – that what you hope and dream and would do anything for becomes something else; something you’d never guess or imagine or believe; that the boy you once bounced on your knee as he laughed and smiled and lighted your world, becomes the monster the world fears; that the little kid reading in the corner alone, quietly turns that loneliness and rejection into something much, much different.”

- I’m Going Back in Time to Save the World (I Just Need a Bag Lunch)

“The younger a child is, the more that child’s life and world is the result and design of their parent or guardian; the more their reality is a construct of the care, desires, beliefs, and instruction of those who raise them.”

- Seriously, Why Parenthood Ends When Childhood Ends

“There comes an inverse point where a parent no longer holds dominion over their child; where their word is no longer Law, and their home is no longer the greater part of their child’s world and reality; where it becomes weird to say or believe that their child – at that age – is “mine”, as parents so often say.  Because they’re not.  They’re not “theirs” any longer.  Because at a certain age they become their own property and their own responsibility – despite how young they may still seem, or how immature they may, in fact, be.  Cause parenthood ends when childhood ends.”

- Seriously, Why Parenthood Ends When Childhood Ends

“This is the disconnect between parent and teen that starts unseen as they maneuver their grade school years, and grows so fast and so large as they reach their late teenage years – that though the teen remains, to their parents, the most important thing in the world, their parents are, to them, an ever decreasing part of it.”

- Seriously, Why Parenthood Ends When Childhood Ends

“Teens would turn to their parents if they knew that when they did they were not speaking with judge and jury, but with someone who would understand and forgive.  They would turn to them if they could do so without the guilt and shame of their disappointment and judgment.  They would do so if their parent would simply be someone – anyone – other than their “Parent” for just a moment.”

- Seriously, Why Parenthood Ends When Childhood Ends

“Not every family is stronger collectively.   Not every family’s sum is greater than its parts.  Not every family is better off together.”

- A Broken Family is Far Better Than a Broken Home

“Far better it is for a kid to be without their mother or their father for a time, than to be saddled with two who can do no more than argue, yell, blame, and hurt; who make every night at home a hell from which the kid cannot save themselves, a prison from which they cannot escape.  But too many hold on too long.  Too many play the martyr to no one’s benefit.  Too many stay with their spouse for no other reason than that the person they hate is also the mother or father of their child.”

- A Broken Family is Far Better Than a Broken Home

“Parents think they can endure their prison to protect their child.  But all they do by doing so – by staying, by remaining, by holding on to a long dead relationsip – is lock their child in their prison as well.  And prison’s no place for a kid.”

- A Broken Family is Far Better Than a Broken Home

2 Responses to Family

  1. Bauer Akina says:

    Thank you so much for creating this page. It feels great not to be the only one who suffers from her past experiences.
    If you like to read more about my strange life, please feel free to do so.*

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