What’s up? And welcome to The Last Broken Home. This is the first of the 10 article series on explaining your current self, and becoming your best self. Because before one can change who they are, they must understand how they came to be – how the world truly works.
But if you’re gonna join us on this sick-ass journey of improving ourselves and making life so much more awesome and our Selves so much better, I should tell you something kinda sorta important…
This is the most selfish self-help site there is.
“Wait, umm…wuh?” you say?
Yep. It sure is. Lemme explain…
I think, in a lot of ways, The Last Broken Home isn’t just about broken homes, or depression, or youth, or finding some comfort in your life or whatever, like so many other sites.
I mean, yes, it’s all those things I suppose, but at its most basic, The Last Broken Home is about You; about becoming your best self – unconstrained by whatever crap (family, friends, society, and culture) that have hindered you thus far, or might hinder you still.
And to do that, I don’t think you need some hand-holding group, or hug-fest, or anyone else really.
You just need You. You’re enough. You know…self-freaking help.
That means that to improve your Self you need to work on your Self. Right? I mean, it should be obvious.
And so there’s something I wanna ask of you:
I want you to put your Self first. Your standards above all else. Your desires before all else. Your happiness or betterment as the goal of most all you do.
Good. Cause it is. And it’s supposed to be.
Most people don’t live like this, though. They don’t live with their selves as their goal. They live instead according to their fears and their mistakes; by the problems they have now, and the heartbreaks or failures they had once. They put every one and every thing before the one person they must spend their entire life with – themselves. And it’s because they don’t live their own life by their own design.
When you hate your body, for instance, you’re valuing society’s standard of the acceptable shape and size over your own.
When you’re broken-hearted about some ex, you’re putting their acceptance and love as more valuable than your own.
When you’re horrified of what people think of you, or believe about you, or say to you, you’re putting their opinions as more important than your own.
When you give into whatever you fear, and live life according to what’s comfortable, safe, or easy, you’re saying your Self just isn’t a thing worth fighting for or improving upon; that this life – your life – isn’t deserving of better.
I mean…what the fuck?
You’re not being selfish. You’re not valuing your Self. You’re not being You.
“But, but…what about the people I love? Sometimes some people are more important.”
Don’t think of this in terms of being selfish about “things” or money or whatever. I don’t mean selfish in that way. I mean that every thing in life can be used as means to make you a better person; to improve you; to make you more confident, more capable, more compassionate and giving even.
Meaning…no matter who’s a part of your life, and who you care for or are responsible for, thinking and living for You can never be a bad thing, and can only help those you love because it makes you a better person.
Because good luck with your relationship when you’re untrusting or un-open. Good luck with your kids when you’re short-tempered or too stubborn. Good luck achieving in life when you have no trust in yourself, belief in yourself, confidence in yourself. Good luck being happy at all, when every one and every thing takes priority in life before your Self, and above your Self.
There’s room enough in life to be selfish and kind; to prioritize your Self, and yet still be generous and giving to others.
So get selfish.
Because above all else, that’s the first step towards change.
Hopefully, though, there’ll be many more.