Let’s talk a bit more about broken homes – about what the reality of broken homes really, truly means for your Self.
As I was coming out of the depression that characterized pretty much most my youth (I’m still cutely young, by the way), and began to look for the first time at the real world that surrounded me, and (at long last) honestly at myself and my life, I realized something that changed me.
I realized that if we’re simply the result of our less-than-awesome circumstances and experiences – our broken homes – then my life and self weren’t my own.
And the same is true of you.
It means that nothing of you is you.
That so long as you’ve so far done nothing to improve yourself – that you’ve simply lived and existed, like most, like a feather thrown in the wantonness of the wind, or a leaf caught in the rapids of the river – you’ve never truly been in control of your life – never capable, never able to do or be better.
It means that, for the most part, all that you think you are is nothing of what you actually are; that all that you think is you was put in you by others – by your family, your friends, your circumstances; that the beliefs you call your own probably aren’t your own; that the opinions you call yours probably aren’t yours; that so much of what and who you believe yourself to be is actually only so because you are You, of family X, and society Y, and culture Z – someone weak, someone wounded, someone lost; that you are You not because you designed yourself as such, but only because the world shaped you so. And because you allowed it.
It means that as someone who (till this day) has not controlled their life, your life has thus far been controlled by others; and so long as you’ve been led by your fears, and your circumstances, and your excuses, you’ve been following a life that is inherently not your own.
And should you continue to be someone else – to be the fears of others, the limitations of others, or anything less than your best self – nothing will change, and life will never improve.
Because you’ll never find You. You’ll never find your Self. You’ll never become the best and most strong you were once destined to become – when the doctor held you up, and the world saw you as a miracle.
All because life beat you down. All because your broken home seemed too strong an obstacle to overcome.
So what does a broken home mean for You, for your Self?
It means there’s a lot of work to be done. There’s a lot of pain to let go, a lot of fear to unlearn.
But it also means that if you were once so capable of letting yourself become what you have become, then you are every bit as capable of still becoming something so much better.