This is an important, important piece of our ongoing series. Cause in our 8 or so installments we’ve discussed a lot of stuff…
Being selfish as fuck. The TLBH meaning of “broken homes”. The cycle of broken homes. What a “broken home” means about what of you is You.
The effect of Family. Friends. Society. Religion.
But…the obvious question is this: How do you use this sweet, sweet stuff?
How do you take it from: “Ah! Damn! This is pretty interesting!” to “Dayuuum…This is gonna change my life for sure!”?
Well…if you’ve browsed the site a bit, perhaps you know that there’s only one thing that improves a life. Only one thing that changes a life. Only one thing that can take you from your (kinda) broken self to your best self.
That’s right. Actually doing something about it.
A lot of crappy self-help sites out there preach a lot of hand-holding positivity and a lot of new age junk that has no basis in reality.
“Just think happy thoughts.” [some old guru’s standard wisdom]
“Time will heal your wounds.” [some old therapist’s expensive expertise]
“5 Steps toward yadda yadda yadda…” [some blogger’s useless tips]
“Rub these crystals on your body thrice weekly…while chanting affirmations…on the solstices of every leap year.” [some crazy mystic hippie nonsense]
I mean…maybe they don’t sound exactly like that or whatever. But still…wtf?
What these dudes and ladies don’t stress enough is that for every problem there exists an action to fix it, change it, overcome it.
And so long as you remain your broken Self, that action remains damn near impossible.
So long as you stay wounded by your past, pretty much crippled by your fears, and mostly stifled by the thoughts and opinions of others, there is little hope for a better life, or a better Self – despite your “happy” thoughts, and time, and the 5 random steps towards whatever, and especially the very pricey and useless crystals.
But…when you improve yourself, you improve everything. When you become awesome in life, life becomes awesome for you. When you become your freaking best Self, you make your freaking best life.
And suddenly you can endure the family that hurts you because they don’t hurt You. You can walk away from the partner that mistreats you, because you won’t let them mistreat You. You can leave the job that destroys you, because you refuse to let your work do anything but inspire You.
Suddenly you can change everything about your life you hate, because there’s so much more to life you love.
Because your best self values your self, and your happiness. It has ideals, and standards, and expectations. It has trust and belief. It has faith and confidence.
When you improve your Self you do so because you’re selfish for all the right reasons, where everyone else is completely Self-less for all the lamest reasons.
And when that’s the case, you live finally as all men and women are meant to live…free.
And so no matter what your particular problem, or what brought and drew you to The Last Broken Home, your better life lies in a better, more confident, more fucking awesome and unlame You.
And that takes work. It takes effort. It takes struggle. It takes trying things that have heretofore (sweet word btw) been freaking scary…
And I’d bet everything that you’re not so clueless as to what that is; that, in fact, you already know what that is; that instead of having no freaking idea what needs to be done, you know exactly what needs to be done.
And so long as you know that – though it’s likely scared you so far – finding the means of that change (the specifics) is inevitable.
I know it cause I knew it.
Cause do you think when I was cripplingly shy and yet so desperate to be otherwise, that I didn’t know that becoming social meant actually socializing with others? Do you really think that when I was heartbroken, and depressed, and damn pathetic about the girl who dumped me that I didn’t know that I had let her become everything because I myself was nothing? Do you think that when I blamed my problems on everyone else, and my misfortunes on everything else, that I didn’t know that my pointing finger only ever pointed at myself?
Do you think I was completely in the dark as to what changes I needed to make to become the person I was desperate to become?
Or do you think I was just scared?
I knew. We all know. We’re not stupid to the things that piss us off about ourselves, or so ignorant to the things that cause us problems in our lives.
But I, like most of us, had ignored it for so long, and had avoided it for so long.
Because acknowledging it meant something far worse. It meant that everything – all my problems, and misfortunes, and blindspots – would fall on me.
And the pain of admitting that – that my life was my own, my responsibility, my fault seemed far more painful than the pain I had all my life learned to love.
But I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t live like that anymore. And it’s my hope that if you’re here, you can’t either.
And so, how do you use this info? How do you use The Last Broken Home?
Well…to do everything that you’ve long known you wanted, but long feared doing. To become the person you’ve forever wanted to become, but always believed you couldn’t.
To become You.
And when that happens, your “broken home” becomes a thing of the past; your lesser self becomes like a stranger you barely know; and life becomes pretty freaking awesome.